London to Windsor: How a Royal Road Trip Became an Epic Comedy of Errors

Windsor Castle

I have been in London for a while now, but I’ve been craving one thing: the feeling of sitting on the driver's seat, the steering wheel in my hands, and the engine revving. I was missing my car. So, I did the only logical thing a person in this state of mind can do: I convinced four of my friends that we needed a London road trip. Our mission? The royal trifecta: Windsor, Bath, and Stonehenge.

The Great British Road Trip: A Comedy of Errors

Renting a car was a piece of cake. We booked it a day in advance for a 9 AM Saturday pickup. I promised myself I’d be on time, but as is my tradition, I was late. Naturally, I blamed my friends.

Me: "I can't believe we're late! Guys, what were you doing?"

Friend 1: "We were ready at 8:30. You were the one who had to re-pack your bag."

Me: "Minor detail! You should have known I'd need more time. This is a group effort!"

The Courtyard

Windsor Castle: History, Parking Disasters & 900 Years of Blame

Our first stop was Windsor Castle, a mere 45 kilometers from Central London. I knew a few things about it: it’s a residence of the British royal family, it’s old (built in the 11th century), and it's the longest-occupied palace in Europe. What I didn't know was that a royal residence comes with an epic parking struggle. We spent nearly an hour circling the castle, our car a desperate beetle looking for a place to rest.

Once we finally found a spot, we were greeted by another line—the ticket queue.

Friend 2: "Is this the line for the castle?"

Me: "No, this is the line for the line."

After an hour in the queue, we finally got our tickets and learned a valuable lesson: tickets booked online are cheaper and let you bypass the line. The universe was clearly testing our patience.

As we entered, we were given an audio guide, which was a lifesaver. It helped us understand the castle's 900-year-old history and provided witty commentary on the side. The guide's calm voice was a stark contrast to our frantic morning, and it helped us truly appreciate the majesty of the place.

The Entrance

A Tour of a Lifetime (Or at Least a Very Long Three Hours)

The prime sights inside the castle were truly something to behold. We saw:

Queen Mary's Doll's House: A masterpiece of miniature engineering. It’s a perfect replica of an aristocratic home, complete with working electricity and a tiny, tiny library. My friends and I just stood there, speechless. Who knew tiny houses could be so powerful?
The State Apartments: These are the rooms the Queen uses to entertain guests. They are filled with incredible treasures from the Royal Collection, and we felt a bit like accidental guests ourselves.
St George's Chapel: One of the finest examples of Gothic architecture in England. It’s a stunning piece of history that makes you feel very, very small.

The State Apartments

St George's Chapel

We also learned about the 1992 fire, which lasted for 15 hours and caused extensive damage. We were told that while the fire was bad, the water used to put it out was even worse for the castle's restoration. A perfect metaphor for life, isn't it? Sometimes, the fix is worse than the problem.

Experiencing the 900 years of history was like traveling back in time, and as we stepped out, I was almost surprised to find ourselves still in the 21st century. The tour took three hours, and by the time we were done, it was 2:30 PM. We had lost so much time, and our next destination, Bath, was calling.

We rushed back to the car, our Windsor Castle adventure complete, and hit the road again. Next stop: Bath - more mishaps, more history, and hopefully, no more broken GPS.